In Loving Memory of

Shay Marie Gremillion Harmon

Born: 14 February 1963 - Died: 20 May 1995

Shay was born in New Orleans, La. in a Catholic Adoption Home. She was adopted at the age of 3 months by Larry and Betty Gremillion in Baton Rouge. She graduated from Saint Joseph's Academy in Baton Rouge in 1981. I met Shay in 1981 while attending a friend's wedding. We were married on the 14^th of July, 1984 and moved to Quantico Virginia 3 months later. While I moved around to various assignments in the Marine Corps, Shay continued her education. She ultimately graduated Suma Cum Laude from Corpus Christi State University in Communications. While waiting to move away from South Texas, she took a job as an adult education / literacy teacher. She fell in love with this, and knew she would do this again some day. After moving back to North Carolina, she took a job at Coastal Carolina Community College as a job developer, helping both graduating students and welfare recipients in Jacksonville find work, and working with businesses, urging them to create jobs and hire her clients. Shay then returned to teaching adults in GED / Literacy while she attended Boston University to attain her MSBA. She accepted a job with Triarc Corporation as a Human Resources Supervisor. While driving home from an evening out with a family friend, her car was struck by a drunken driver's car. A fire ensued, and she burned alive while rescuers tried in vain to get her out of the car.

I came to the United States in the fall of 1985 and the first friends I made (despite my hesitation to speak English) were the Harmons. Since they didn’t care if I spoke a word or not, we became close friends very quickly. Pretty soon there was not a day that we didn’t talk or see each other. Shay helped me get accustomed to my new home; in short, she was always there for me.

The first Marine Corps Ball was so much fun. Peter and I left for Pensacola in 1986 and Pete and Shay stayed in Cherry Point. Of course they came to our wedding in Pensacola. We actually didn't get stationed together again until 1991, again in Havelock. Through all that time we stayed in touch via the phone.

To no surprise to all of you that knew Shay, she had already rented a house for us before we got to Havelock! Ready to move in! Right after we moved back to Havelock, I met my other dear friend Barbara Toth. Of course it was through Shay. We became good friends right away in spite of her adorable dog TJ’s urinating on my foot, the minute we were introduced. From then on, it was the three of us.

Our favorite thing to do those days was to go to Happy Hour at the Shame to meet our guys. We had some fun times there and I am sure some of you will have a good Shame story to tell…

On a very rainy May 6, 1993 around 7 am Shay stood in my backyard (banging on our bedroom window in high heels and work outfit, standing ankle deep in mud) with a bottle of champagne to be the first one to wish me a happy 30^th birthday! That doesn’t surprise any of you either, I bet.

Since Shay, Barbara and I did pretty much everything together, we of course had our babies together as well…Barbara made the start, I followed a few months later and Shay joined right thereafter. It was a Baby- Year for us: Trevor in February, Lauren in July and George in December. Needless to say, Shay was at the hospital when I had Lauren. She and Barbara even managed (HOW???) to get into the surgery recovery room at the Naval Hospital to see me…

In December we waited for George’s arrival and he decided to get here on the 20^th, I remember picking up Shay’s mom Betty from the airport just in time for the delivery, what a Christmas present for his parents!

It was hard to say goodbye when Pete and Shay left for Ft. Lauderdale. I did see her again that spring when Shay had to take her final exams. Barbara and I got a chance to spend a few days with her and George. I am very grateful, especially for that particular year together, and for having had the chance to be her friend.

I miss you.

Andrea

From Pete: What follows is one of the funnier stories about Shay that I remember. It helps to also have my perspective to set the tone. First of all - at the time this happened, Shay was working in Jacksonville, NC - about an hour's drive from our home. She had gotten up about 5 AM to go to work that morning - so when this happened, she'd been awake for 20 to 22 hours. Secondly, it is important to remember; that though this is somewhat embarrassing, it was one of the funniest stories Shay ever heard either. She was a special lady - able to laugh at the world, and sometimes that meant laughing at herself . . . which she always seemed to do with such grace and dignity. Enjoy!

From Karla Satterfield - December 29, 1998

November 10^th – the Marine Corps Birthday – a yearly event that gives permission to Marines and their spouses to celebrate the beginning of "our" corps and have a really good reason for a party. Why should 1992 be any different? It wasn’t except that our Marines from VMA 223 were on a WESTPAC deployment.

One of the things I liked best about Shay was her high energy and sense of fun. I never felt that the guys being gone was a reason not to go to the Marine Corps Birthday Ball. After all what better reason to buy expensive ball attire that you’ll wear no more than 3 times and let all your friends borrow? Shay felt the same and was one of a number of "deployment spouses" who got together and went to the ball. We started the evening with cocktails and hors d’oeuvres at the Harmon’s and then we all piled into taxis that would take us to the ball with coolers in hand.

Of the dozen or so wives from 223 present that year three of us were left by the end of the night – myself, Shay, and Donda Underwood (Donda’s husband had been killed over Iraq the last day of Desert Storm so she was an honorary 223 wife that evening). Fortunately for us a new Warrant Officer and his wife (Bob and Lisa Venema) had just checked in that week. The Venema’s volunteered to baby-sit us the rest of the evening. Not being women to let good opportunity pass us by, we took advantage of the Venema’s charity and continued to march. We closed the ball down at 1AM but we were still ready to have fun so the Venema’s took the three of us to a country western bar that Donda and I went to regularly for dance lessons. Now it is important that you picture this – three drunk rowdy women dressed in their very finest black silk in a hole-in-the-wall country western bar. The other reason I loved Shay was because she was never afraid to try new things including country western dancing! But even the best bar couldn’t keep up with us that night so we closed it down as well. But now we were hungry!

The Venema’s unending patience continued. They took us to an ancient Havelock establishment – The Bayside Restaurant. It was now 2 or 3AM. There we sat – the five of us in all our glory and formal splendor. Three of us were inebriated the other two were being humored. Shay was more pickled and tired then the rest of us. I was just hungry. After sitting there looking at her eggs for a minute or two Shay excused herself to go to the bathroom. I ate my hamburger. After five minutes a line started to form outside the ladies room and Bob Venema became concerned. He asked if we should go check on her and I said "nah, it takes a while to get out of all the body armor and stuff." I went back to eating my hamburger. A minute or two went by and still no Shay. Bob insisted that I go check on her. So I went to the bathroom where the line had grown and recommended the men’s room to some rather irritated local "ladies". I got down on my hands and knees to see if I could see Shay. Since I didn’t see her I figured she was alright. My theory was that if she wasn’t on the floor she hadn’t fallen. After all we had been drinking a lot and we were at the Bayside. Who knows what her bowels were doing. I went back to the table and gave my report to Bob and started in on my french fries. Another couple of minutes went by so Bob and I got up and knocked on the bathroom door. No answer. Okay – now I’m worried. The manager couldn’t find the key so Bob, being the Marine he is, jimmied the lock with his ID card, opened the door, and turned his back as I walked in. And there she sat. Our Shay girl all in silk and gauze – except most of the silk was on the floor around her ankles because she was sitting on the pot arms crossed on top of her legs with her head resting on her arms taking a nap! I guess going to the bathroom was just too much exertion after a night of dancing and what not. So she fell asleep on the job – so to speak. I gently touched her shoulder –"Shay? Shay honey wake up." With a lovely, sleepy smile she says, "Hi Karla. What are you doing?" "It’s time to go now." She says, "Okay." And I haven’t stopped laughing yet.

I consider myself honored to have known her. My life is blessed because of her friendship. Our world is a better place because Shay once called it home.

I first met Pete and Shay Harmon on July 14, 1986. I was suppose to be meeting this Captain, Ron McClain, who led me to believe he wanted to take depth soundings in front of a piece of real estate he was interested in purchasing. I showed up at the dock early (before noon) to find this guy waiting for me. At that point, he tells me he invited another couple along to go water skiing. He told me as they were driving up; it was Pete and Shay.

We spent the day water skiing, stealing crabs from crab pots and borrowing a few pounds of shrimp from my parents freezer. (The crab pots belonged to my Grandfather). After a day of skiing, we went back to the Harmons for seafood gumbo and crabs. That’s when a great friendship developed.

That year we all went to the ball, had a great time! Ron asked me to marry him, and as I was telling Shay, Stacey Leiser overheard us but she thought I said we were leaving to go get married. It was a good laugh for all.

We had lots of great times that year, especially at the Shame. One wild time, Shay and I had a little to much to drink. We were daring each other to yank down the zippers of flight suits to see what the guys were wearing under them. I guess we were causing a little commotion and the other pilots were trying to see what was going on. We were surrounded. (This was prior to Tailhook) Being the great guys most pilots are they decided to see if they could get my bra off without unbuttoning my shirt and one threatened to pull Shay’s skirt up over her head. Ron being the Air defense guy that he was, decided we had enough and he was sending us to our rooms. (He was returning from getting us a room at the Q) He had ordered us a Pizza too. Meanwhile, Shay and I were daring each other to sneak into the pool on base and go for a swim. On the way to the room, I lost Shay. I found her about an hour later, in her slip, SOAKED, and freezing. She didn’t want to get her clothes wet, so she went for a swim, in her slip. Turns out, she had dared some others, they all went, down to the pool, climbed the fence and went swimming. I heard that the MP’s came by or at least they thought it was the MP’s, and they decided to hide in the woods.

Pete and Shay both were in our Wedding, Pete in the Arch and Shay was the Wedding director. After the wedding we all parted ways, Pete to flight school, Ron to law school.

In 1988, while Ron was away, I got a beautiful English Setter Puppy. I named her Shay. (It’s actually an honor to have a dog named after you, especially on the field registry papers) Shay didn’t think so. I’m sure everyone heard about that.

In September, 1994, Ron and I were visiting my parents over labor day weekend and I called Shay to say hello. Pete wasn’t home, as usual, but I think he got back before we left. This was the last time I spoke to her. She had great news for us, Pete and her were expecting a Baby. She was telling me that she and Nancy Miller had found out they both were expecting and due about the same time. I was so happy she had someone to go thru the pregnancy with, especially Nancy. I congratulated her, and she asked when we were having another one. I told her never, we were done, no more. She said, never say never. Little did I know, I was pregnant.

On an eerie note, I started having labor pains on May 20, 1995. J.P Miller called us on May 21 to let us know that Shay had been killed and George injured, I had our son Ian early in the morning on May 22.

I never really had a chance to say good-bye. Good-bye, Shay Harmon. You were a great lady to know. You touched so many during your life, may you continue to touch souls as an Angel in Heaven.

My memories of Shay

Looking back, it's sad to think about how long I didn't know Shay compared to how long I did. You see we both changed jobs a couple times at two of the community colleges in this area of North Carolina and we seemed to keep missing each other. When Shay was moving from her part-time job at Craven Community College (CCC), to a full-time position at Coastal Carolina Community College (CCCC) I was just getting ready to do the same thing, except in reverse. I remember hearing that Shay had just come from CCC, so I thought I'd ask her for "the scoop" about the people there. In that first brief meeting, she was kind, informative, funny, and a great person to talk to, but she just wouldn't gossip and tell me who were the people that I should avoid. Her only comment in that direction was something like, "People will show you what they are like soon enough." Kind of frustrating, but also admirable and very true! So my very first impression of Shay was that she was a person of high integrity.

My new position at CCC was as the Continuing Education Director. One of my assignments was to staff a new workplace literacy program at the naval aviation depot. The program was taught at all levels, from those who had absolutely no reading skills, to those who had great skills but just needed to brush up in a few areas like high school math or grammar. I tried a few people in the position, but no one really, really clicked with the students. As the months passed, I was still looking for just the right person. Fortunately for me, Shay had decided to get her master's degree and was now looking for a job closer to home and part-time. My boss mentioned that she might be a good candidate for the literacy instructor job and that I might want to talk to her. A truer statement was never made. From the moment that Shay and I started talking about what we would like to see for the students, we knew we had the same main goal in mind; respect for the dignity of each student no matter what his or her level. What a pleasure to have a teacher so dedicated and who was so easy to work with. Before long we were working like a team; me behind the scenes doing all the administrative stuff, and Shay in the classroom. It didn't take much to see that her students ADORED her. Her classroom was always full of learning and laughter. And oh yes, food too! The students were either bringing in cakes or cookies and Shay often treated them to her famous Cajun gumbo, which is still to this day, a favorite recipe of mine. Words can't describe the incredible atmosphere of that classroom. Her greatest fans were the students who were having the biggest problems grasping the basics of reading. The day one of the men was able to distinguish an "A" from a "B" and a "C" from a "D" was truly a day for celebration. The only time I saw Shay get angry in the classroom was when she noticed one student making fun of a slower student. Hell hath no fury like Shay Harmon when one of her students was being ridiculed!

When Shay told me that she was pregnant with George, I had the hardest task- keeping it a secret until Shay and Peter were ready to tell the world. You see, Shay and I had often talked about our desire for babies and I knew how long awaited this pregnancy was for Shay. A couple months later I was finally able to tell the rest of the college staff and what a great day that was. We all were so happy for her. Another great day was when all 60 or 70 of Shay's students gave her a baby shower. There were PILES of presents for the soon-to-be-born George Harmon. I think the students were almost as excited about George's arrival as Shay herself.

About that time I decided to quit the administrative job and finish up my own master's degree, so I could get back in the classroom. George was born, Peter was getting out of active service with the Marines, and Shay was starting her new career in Florida and finishing up her master's degree. We were all very, very busy people. I didn't get a real chance to say good-bye to Shay as we always thought we'd be seeing each other again soon on one of her trips back up to North Carolina. But that didn't happen. The phone call came telling of Shay's death and George's terrible burns. I remember being so very angry thinking, "Why her? She gave so much to the world." And no, I'm not making Shay out to be a saint after her death. From the very beginning, I realized what a wonderful person she was. She cared so very much for people.

So time passes, and the semesters continue to march on. I've been back in the classroom for a few years now and love it so much more than administration. But every once in a while, when things get a little harried in the classroom, or I'm tired, or upset about one student or another, I have this little thing I do. I close my eyes and talk to Shay. You see, she's still my version of the perfect teacher. And then I get calm again, and the lesson continues. Thank you Shay for all the lessons you taught so many of us. We miss you so much.

Pat Johnson